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JESUS CHRIST

Jesus ChristSelf-worth is our most precarious and precious belonging. It is a measure of our power in relation to our environment, determining the degree to which our will and actions are manipulated by needs and fears, or else the degree of our mind’s independence from such forces.

Self-worth takes the form of a vessel that receives the waters of Spirit, or power, into our system. The vessel’s quality and strength is measured as the level of our integrity in all decisions and actions: any slip from Truth for the sake of need or fear, as insignificant as it may seem, drills a hole into our self-worth through which power leaks out. The more densely our self-worth gets perforated, the stronger the outward flow of power and the higher our sensitivity to need, as well as our reactivity to situations of impotence. The ‘shooting from the hip’ phenomenon is a clear indication of an empty vessel of self-worth, thickly punctured by breaches in integrity, unable to hold Spirit and seeking relief from the tension of powerlessness and victimization. Reactivity, thus, is an acute lack of self-worth and need for power.

A leaking self-worth will feel its holes and power loss intensely, and devote all its energies to procuring ever more water to cover up the vessel’s weakness and soothe the painful feelings. For some, such substitute self-worth will be found in their family name, wealth or title; for others, in the positions they acquire or people they associate with; third will take pride in their beauty, wit or lovingness and usefulness to others; and yet others in the excellence of their mind, their righteousness and sophistication. The Soul will deem these external power sources a proof of its worth, feeling powerful only as long as they are available and filling the vessel. It will depend on and seek the continuous inflow of such substitutes, rather than direct its attention inward to repair its self-worth holes.

A substitute source of self-worth often changes through life, as blows to it render it unusable and a forced and often painful adjustment becomes necessary: the loss of beauty will move women to rely on their lovingness, spirituality or social power; failure to acquire social power might move men to seek sophistication or mind achievements, or else serve others in feigned camaraderie. The more sources of external self-worth a Soul accumulates, the safer it feels and yet the unsafer it is in Truth, for all such sources are based in matter, i.e. others’ perception of oneself, subject to their will, decay and loss. In a twist of irony, the more successful a Soul is in appeasing its internal holes by the continuous inflow of substitutes, the more deceived it is, as its factual dependence on others goes unnoticed. A sudden awakening from this deception, say via betrayal or loss, sends the Soul straight into shock and into the hell of inflamed victimization. In Tarot, the card named Tower represents such fully protected self-worth, crumbling to the ground hit by the strike of lightning, or Truth.

The demolition of external sources of self-worth is not by accident, nor is it preventable. It is Spirit’s design to gradually take away all such sources from the Soul, as its imaginary worthiness and wellbeing comes at great cost to Spirit, whose waters are abused and wasted by the Soul’s refusal to repair its vessel. Within a regular lifetime as well as across many lifetimes, every Soul suffers such awakenings by being betrayed in relationships, overthrown from power and success, decaying in beauty and value, broken in body and health, or made impotent in manifesting potential.

These awakenings are designed to break the Soul’s entitlement to feeling good or worthy at the cost of Spirit’s wasted waters. The Soul’s need to keep its feelings pacified at all times, rather than take responsibility for Spirit, is a statement of its infantility and lack of desire for the powers of adulthood. In seeking to receive love at the cost of Spirit rather than be worthy of it, the Soul sentences itself to an indefinite stay in kindergarten, its will and daily schedule tied to the only adult left in the relationship: Spirit. It also pushes Spirit into a state of evil by making it force the child to grow into adulthood, or else sacrifice itself to feed its insatiable self-worth holes.

Instead of seeking to receive love, the Soul should seek to become worthy of Spirit’s waters by fixing its vessel. This necessitates a temporary shut-off of all water supply so that holes can become visible, i.e. lies about one’s worthiness can rise into the mind’s awareness in the form of Truth. Yet the coming face to face with Truth, or the falling apart of a perceived source of self-worth, is the most painful experience a Soul can have, its feelings always at highest levels of victimization and impotence. Thus since Adam until today, there have only ever been three reactions by the Soul upon encountering its inner Truth: the sacrifice of Spirit, i.e. the messenger; the betrayal of Truth for matter; and the rejection of life, i.e. the purpose of healing. The first ends Spirit’s life, always in the form of severing a relationship, while the second breaks Spirit’s heart, devaluing its love. The last is an act of Soul suicide, as it declines healing and chooses death instead.

All three archetypal reactions have been captured in the events leading to Jesus’ crucifixion. For Jesus had as purpose the healing of the Soul’s vessel. As such, his every interaction was designed to bring Truth to the Soul, or in other words purposefully shatter the walls of its perceived self-worth as opportunity to grow. Yet Pilate, Judas and the Jews rejected the Truth delivered to them by Jesus. Instead, the weak Pilate chose easy over right, sacrificing his integrity to his need for power and throwing Spirit to the masses in an act of self-protection. Judas, child-like, sought only to receive, and when Jesus’ Truth hurt his feelings he simply exchanged Jesus’ love for a substitute source of self-worth, symbolised by the money he accepted for Jesus’ life. The Jews, in turn, not only rejected Jesus’ teaching but sought to defile him by ‘putting him in his place’, an intent of pure evil which invokes a sentence of souldeath.

The first two fell victim to feelings of impotence, and in a frantic need to salvage their self-worth sacrificed and betrayed Spirit to matter. The last fell victim to the perception of their omnipotence and in their arrogance sought to destroy Spirit, cutting thereby their incoming flow of water all together and manifesting a tribal karmic footprint of defilement which reverberated through history. These three acts of free will were a measure of humanity’s consciousness of infantility and an act of its manifestation, conjuring for themselves all experiences of suffering that befell humanity since.

The reactions of sacrifice, betrayal and defiling of Spirit represent the three faces of evil, symbolised by the three prongs of the devil’s fork: lack of power, lack of love, and lack of wisdom.