Some time ago, Spirit had me watch a series of sermons by a christian pastor on the internet. At first I thought it was for my own education, to learn all facets of Truth which Spirit weaved into all existing teachings, religions, stories and knowledge. But soon I realized that it was the pastor himself and not his teaching that was the subject of Spirit’s interest, presenting a much more intimate lesson in connection, and a precious jewel of wisdom for my own growth.
As I was not brought up with dogma, I was unaccustomed to preachers of all kinds, be it religious, scientific or moralistic. Frankly, I was quite dismissive of their entitlement to Truth, their assuming and enforcing the validity of their perception in whichever domain. I regretted their unwillingness to question their assumptions and explore the depths of Truth behind their sacred texts, rational conclusions or social values.
Yet this pastor was different. Devoted to the Word of God, he was a beacon of purpose, integrity and mind power, peeling back multiple layers of meaning and symbolism behind every phrase in the Bible, and connecting them to the inner workings of the human mind and Soul. I felt appreciation rise within me for his seeking of the essence of God’s message, and then standing up in the defense and enforcement of it, even and especially when faced with condemnation and harassment. Appreciation soon turned into admiration as I witnessed his self-worth immune to ego, eager to dispel perceptions with passion and energy. I felt a strong desire to meet him, to bring light and Truth to such potency and desire, such power to receive Spirit. By having these feelings arise within me, Spirit was telling me that this man’s potential is to establish a connection with Spirit and rise into union.
Then I was given a vision of my meeting with him. I saw myself entering his church in search not for comfort, community, nor guidance, but in search for reception: for a recognition by his mind of the potential I was bringing him, and for his appreciation and protection of this potential in the form of embracing the opportunity for growth. Instead, I saw him welcome me into his flock matter-of-factly and with implied expectations of my full conformity to his vision of God, his steamy engine of purpose and conviction already moving too fast to be able to stop and reassemble itself on a higher technology platform.
Yet a connection with Spirit implies nothing less than a complete overhaul in one’s perception of what is true, possible and desirable, akin to a chick’s emergence out of the shell. Seeing him unable or unwilling to halt his powerful mind-engine, and rejecting the possibility of Truth outside of his interpretations of the Bible, I felt fear of coercion and hurt arising within me, another message from Spirit. It was telling me that this man, for all his valuable integrity and mind power, was not yet ready for a connection. His mind was too forceful for Spirit, making it feel unloved and afraid to step out into the light. His fierce purpose in God made him inattentive to Spirit’s tenderness, his need to prove his worthiness unable to humbly receive the essence of Spirit and transcend the form, the chick’s shell, the Bible.
In that sense, insisting on the validity of one’s perception is the well-frog’s attitude of denying the existence of a world outside the well, the vastness of Spirit. This frog-limitation was sitting deep within this pastor’s mind, nested in his subconsciousness and screened from his awareness by his fierce purpose of faith. For had he been aware, he would have attacked it with a ferociousness of a dragon-hunter, as precisely this readiness to fight the evil within evoked Spirit’s appreciation to begin with.
Yet without this awareness, his mind’s subconscious rejection of the sky manifests itself as a condition to Spirit: if Spirit wants the connection, it will need to confirm or at least support the frog’s vision of the sky, akin to allowing the chick to remain in the shell until its untimely but certain death. This would require Spirit to sacrifice its own Truth, it desire for life and evolution, and accept the chick’s will for safety against its own wisdom of growth, discovery and life. Such mind thus, though all-knowing in its well and protected in its eggshell, is sentenced to death by a lack of humility to receive Spirit’s impulse for growth and thereby survive. Compared to Spirit’s power of life, the mind’s power of being right is no power at all.
The pastor’s desire for God is, in this context, nothing other than a well-disguised need for power, a statement not of seeking Truth but of owning it. Converted into a source of self-worth, such mind’s perception is vulnerable to all challenge, including Spirit’s call for growth, arousing the ego’s armed resources in its protection. The equating of perception with self-worth is therefore the most dangerous limitation of the mind, to be overcome and replaced by an appreciation for Spirit’s wisdom. For if the frog truly desired Truth rather than insisted on the validity of its perception, it would climb out of the well by itself. As long as it desires to prove or hold its power, however, it will never leave the well, unless and until it was forced to in a shock. Desiring power, even when it is one’s conviction and deepest source of righteous self-worth, is thus making a painful rebirth inevitable. Desiring Truth, in contrast, means growing through discovery, not through pain.